simply smiling

"...sometimes you can do that simply by smiling, for no reason, at someone you happen to pass in the street. Without intending to, you might have saved the life of a complete stranger, who also thought he was useless and might have been ready to kill himself - until a smile gave him new hope and confidence. You would still never know exactly when you had been useful to somenone else.."

-Paulo Coelho-

you have no idea

you have no idea of everyone else's battle that he/she's fighting.. 

what you see is not always the real thing happened in his/her life.. 

never judge.. never conclude.. never presume anything.. 

who knows behind this smile i wear, i am fighting against myself..?!

count your blessings

"there is always a reason to feel unhappy, but there is no excuse not to thank God for everything happened in life"

Most of my friends have married these age. Having their cute baby. Feel so happy in photos posted on social media with their hubby and child. Go stable with their circle of common life. Warmy home. Seems perfect!

I am 27 years old. Work for life. Single. Circle of common life has failed me. People always ask "when do you get married?", just like im an abnormal Indonesian citizen.

BUT I have travelled so many places. Sea, beach, mountains, lake, forest.. Summer, spring, autumn, winter.. While others having their baby, Thank God i had so many chances to invest the soul memories my ownself :)I can not stay at one place for a long time, gotta move to gain fresh air in another place. Books and traveling are my chatarsist. They all are opening my mind and soul into another energy. Refresh my cloudy thoughts. Praise Lord on and on for He has a magic hand touching our galaxy. Feels like a tiny little creature as i dont deserve anything in life. Attach to surrounding and imagine im in their position. So relieve..
Sure i have many stories to lullaby-ing my grandchild. And i choose to be happy! ;)
 
So, rather than whining, why dont we count our blessings instead?

-SMP-

why?

 Why...

We often ask God such question. why did i not succeed? why did i fail? why did You gave me such trouble? why did he leave me? why did they hurt me? why did i not get things like others did? why did they gain something so easily? why? why? and why?

"Beautiful in His time".. we heard that lots of time.. people say it to give courage one another.. A friend asked me "when will His time come?", and i laughed. She seemed not to understand the words "beautiful in His time". Its 'HIS', not 'OURS'. He has an above-our-common-sense plan with His mysterious time that we shouldnt doubt in. And why things happened is always have a purpose to our life. We often think that we are the most poor and broken people in the world. I remember one story, that God order people to write their worst problem they had in a paper. Then they switch one another to read other's. Finally they realised that their problem is nothing than other's. We always seem to focus on our bad. Its okay for one certain time, as our evaluation to be a better person. But then, the most important thing is, be grateful for whatever happen in our life. Its the dynamic of our life. By pain we put so much value on joy. By black, we put so much value on white. By tear, we put so much value on laugh. By dark, we put so much value on light. Each person's path is unique. No path is alike. They got things easily while you didnt? Then praise The Lord since you had greater experience in life that you may tell as  stories to your grandchild. Never questioning other's, just focus to build yourself. By scars, tears, and wound, we'll be a stronger person that is ready to manage God's gift. Just be ready for His time..

So, why should we question God since He is a magician who own our life?

-SMP-

No thing in life is permanent

No thing in life is permanent..

I wrote this words lots of time.. because i proved it lots of time too.. 

What i learned is that we can not feel as we are the owner of every single thing in life, we gotta prepare for a mystic conspiration or surprising thing come to us. We can be a controller to our reaction, but we can not be an author even of our life, because God is the owner! He can do a 180 degree situation change in a moment. Be attached but keep detached. Enjoy every single moment, but keep aware and put you feet always come back the ground, so if you flew, you flew to a not-so-high air, so once you fell, you would not feel too much hurt.  

-SMP-

Hi writing!

Writing is curing..

I once thought that writing my experiences in life would be so much useful for others, whether its just a curiousity, source of inspiration, or hopefully a lesson learned.

But im not good at writing, so i proscatinate my intention till now. 

I was and still in a battle against my ownself, to heal and recover after a heartbroken situation. I buried myself in a gloomy circumstances i made (i said 'i made', because we are the pilot of how we feel and react our circumstances). I was enjoying feel the pain and hurt inside, i cried a lot, i could not focus, i made my self anonymous in everywhere i go, and on and on.. 

Sharing help me out of that situation step by step, a lil inch to the next inch.. People i love is present all the time. But i think that i should pouring my feelings and thoughts to a right media, hence i created a blog to be my diary and my media. 

Welcome to my insane world!

-SMP-